Union Songs
no one's too alien to be australian
A song by tony cornwell©2002 tony cornwell
i had a dream the other night that
i was sitting in an airport lounge in a foreign land
when a bloke, he came towards me, with a clipboard in his hand.
he was gathering information for a government publication
and appreciated being told of my intended destination
i told him i was going to that wide desert island
that place of sea and sunshine, my homeland of australia.
he looked at me a minute and grew a little paler
and said i'm sorry sir to tell you but my form omits australia
but so as not compound this lack
i'll copy and relay each fact
you give me of you nations population.
(rit) mate, i said, that a toughie; still i'll give it a go.
we've got dagoes and wogs, poms and frogs,
lebs and fobs and spooks, coons and chinks.
spics and dinks, skips and slopes and gooks.
but rather than go on and on, i'll sum it up in this slogon
no one's too alien to be australian
no one's too alien, no one's too alien
no one's too alien to be australian
i'm sorry sir, he said, but you speak faster than my pen.
would you really mind to run it past me once again?
(rit) i said cobber.. you're stretching the friendship
but i suppose i'll rise to the cultural and historic demands.
from the top,
we've got dagoes and wogs, poms and frogs
lebs and fobs and spooks coons and chinks
spics and dinks skips and slopes and gooks
but rather than go on and on i'll sum it up in this slogon
no one's too alien to be australian
no one's too alien, no one's too alien
no one's too alien to be australian
so if a visitor from outer space
should encounter engine failure
you know for sure, they'd feel at home,
down here in australia
because
no one's too alien to be australian
no one's too alien, no one's too alien
no one's too alien to be australian
(over the last bars we hear)
terry -- hey neil what's that noise?
Neville -- looks like a space ship coming down in the backyard
t -- look at them guys with the silver suits
n -- i'll put the kettle on hey?
t -- give em a beer after a trip like that. (to the spaceship) how was the trip mate?
then i woke up.
Notes
Many thanks to tony cornwell for permission to add this song to the collection
union songs..........a selection by mark gregory