Union Songs

The Woodchip Man

A song by Denis Kevans©Denis Kevans

I think that I shall never see, a poem like a wood chip factory,
Aesthetically it knocks me out, to see another forest flyin' out the spout.

Please give your forest to the woodchip man, he's got a factory in old Japan,
He turns 'em into kleenex, Uncle Bill*, he's doin' it for Australia you dill.

Trees are very sacred to the Japanese, so the big companies don't chop their trees,
They've too much nouse to chip their own, so they come down south where the gumtree's grown.

For thousands of years the Karri has stood, reclaiming dry land, and making it good,
But we don't need the forest to cure our souls, we need it to wrap our chicko rolls!

Bjelke invested in the Reef's destruction, sayen' "Crush up the coral for road construction,
Rig up your derricks on the Barrier Reef" - the minds of such people are beyond belief.

My auntie Lil flew to Japan, she went and abused the wood chip man,
The wood chip man he said "Aw geez, you can't see the wood chip for the trees".

The honey-eater and the flying possum, they couldn't find any red gum blossom,
The wood chip man said "Hip hooray! You can eat McDonald's every day".

Tourists love the forest, so chop them down, we don't want those tourists throwin' money around,
Cuddlin' koalas, patten' possum, photo for Kyoto in the red gum blossom,

The kangaroo and the little tom tit, they couldn't make head nor tail of it,
The wood chip man said "Take a look, we'll give you a chapter in a nature book".

When the forest has gone, and the birds and the bees, and the wood chip's higher than the blue gum trees
We'll have the paper from old Japan, all sing the praises of the wood chip man.

When the forest has gone to the factory, to be turned into paper for the lavatory,
I won't complain, I won't be glum, I'll just rip off my heritage and wipe my bum.

* This line is often sang as: "He turns 'em into kleenex in his paper mill, ..... "


Many thanks to Denis Kevans for permission to add this song to the Union Songs collection.

The final verse was added by John Dengate

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