Union Songs

Hee Haw Hee Haw Hee Haw

A Song by Robert D. Stubbs©Robert D. Stubbs 2007

- [play]

If you want to make a donkey
Up and make a little haste
Just get a juicy carrot out
And give the ass a taste
Then hang the carrot from a stick
Beyond the donkey's jaw
And tell him it's incentive
Hee haw hee haw hee haw

The donkey reaches for the treat
Which moves a step away
And he never gets the carrot
All he ever gets is hay
And you've always got the option
To beat your burro raw
That's mainly what the stick is for
Hee haw hee haw hee haw

The boss has got the carrot
And the boss has got the stick
If you don't know what that makes you
You're pretty flippin' thick
You are the thickest quadruped
The world ever saw
If you still don't get it, here's a hint
Hee haw hee haw hee haw

So if you're not a donkey
Speak up and tell the man
Just where and when and how he oughta
Stick his carrot plan
Cause dogs bow wow and cats meow
And crows say mostly caw
But an ass with his eye on the carrot goes
Hee haw hee haw hee haw


Many thanks to Bob Stubbs for permission to add this song to the Union Songs collection.

Bob writes:
"In February 2007 the National Executive Board of the Canadian Union Of Postal Workers voted by a majority of one to accept a contract offer from Canada Post Corporation. An important part of the tentative agreement was a performance bonus known as the Corporate Team Incentive (CTI), to be distributed annually to all members if the corporation met certain goals defined by management. CUPW's constitution bars bonuses based on individual performance but not this sort of universal distribution.

Nevertheless, many postal workers felt that the proposed contract violated the spirit if not the letter of our constitution. A lively debate ensued. Opponents of CTI argued that it would encourage workers to put in unpaid overtime and discourage radical action and the use of sick leave. Proponents took the pragmatic view that the tentative agreement was the best that could be achieved, that rejecting it might result in a worse contract being imposed by legislation, and that the bonus money would be better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick.

In April, the membership voted by a 2 to 1 margin to ratify thecontract, CTI and all. This song, which circulated widely via e-mail,expresses anti-CTI views and also, I hope, functions as as a critique ofconsumerist/capitalist society."

Find more of Bob's songs: Bob Stubbs

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