Small Price To Pay
A Song by Dermot Dorgan©Dermot Dorgan 2007
The doctor said, as doctors do,
"I'm afraid I've got bad news for you,
"You're physically fine and your heart's OK,
"Your brain still works – in a sort of a way –
"Your blood's quite red and your lungs don't wheeze,
"But you've got a very nasty social disease."
I said, "Doctor, give me the full diagnosis
"Is it Hong Kong flu, or halitosis,
"Is it parvo virus or the old DTs
"Or a case of Kreutzfeldt-Jakob disease?"
"Oh no", he said, as he called the nurse,
"You've got something that's far, far worse –
"You're unemployed, you're on the dole,
"You're out of a job, you're in a real black hole,
"You've been downsized or made redundant,
"The terms for your disease are abundant,
"But sacked or fired or however they state it,
"The reality is you're terminated".
"Your disease", said the doctor, "By the way,
"Has reached epidemic proportions today
"From Campbelltown to Oklahoma,
"London, Ouagadougou, Roma,
"Cairo, Perth, Bangkok, Darjeeling,
"Jobless rates have gone through the ceiling.
"So don't feel guilty that you're not out there,
"Propelling our economy to God knows where,
"Your job's being done a whole lot faster
"By a silicon chip , so it's not a disaster
"Just try to get used to it, cultivate sloth –
"It's a small price to pay for economic growth".
"There's a lot you can do to ease the pain
"Till you get back into the workforce again,
"Try voluntary work – stay off the booze –
"Write applications for interviews,
"Learn Japanese – go ahead and enrol –
"And if you're really lucky, you could work for the dole.
"By the way, it's indicated in the latest research
"That you're not just about to fall off the perch,
"You won't shuffle off this mortal coil,
"Just because you've been deprived of your daily toil.
"Very few die of this disease,
"Most, that is, survive – next please"!
Many thanks to Dermot Dorgan for permission to add this song to the Union Songs collection.
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union songs..........a selection by mark gregory