Union Songs

Has-Been Hazards

A song by Phyl Lobl©Phyl Lobl 2010
Tune One of the Has-Beens

I'm one of the has-beens, a Prime Minister ex,
I once used to advertise Ko-koda treks,
But I stayed far too long on the political trail,
I was put out to pasture by an up-start female.

Now I've been overlooked by the cricketing mob. (Aughh ughugh)
No that's not a cough, it's a strangulated sob.
The game that they served me it just wasn't fair,
You could not call it cricket but they didn't care.

*NOW there is a new chum in line for the Lodge,
But that straw-berry blonde has ex-PM's to dodge.
(Repeat last line with Audience participation as chorus)

I'm a has-been as well, or so the press say,
But my name is still fore-front by the hand of D'Alpuget
My silvery mane it still covers my head,
I do not wear budgies, just called one instead.

*PAST PM's are not helping the sheila it seems,
They are too busy trying to mend broken dreams.
(Audience repeats last line )

I'm another of the has-beens, I freed up the banks
I was all for getting rid of the Brits but not Yanks,
At least I have a musical, & though it's not the top job,
I still like to spar with a Budgie called Bob.

*NOW THIS stella, sheila new chum, some thought she was Red
But that Copper-top, that Ranga, looks blue now instead.
(Audience repeats last line)

I was not a PM, just up for the job,
I was feisty I was frantic to strike (with) a left lob.
But one blow too many and Howard won through,
I wish I had dyed my hair now, and called myself Blue.

*YES THAT Redhead is striking her light very well,
She a match for Tony Abbott the chief lib-er-al
(Audience repeats last line)

I'm Kevin from Queensland an ex-PM too,
My end it came suddenly, a bolt from ?The Blue',
My life was up-turned I did not see the trend,
Unlike Mist-er Beckham I never learnt to bend.

God, if it was you who decided the coup
I don't understand ?cos she doesn't talk to you,
All those Sundays in church had me feeling secure,
Now I'm here in the wilderness, lost and unsure.

*BUT, she's a Redhead, a Coppertop, a Ranga, a Blue,
With a rival like that let's hope Abbott's gone too.
(Audience repeats last line )


Many thanks to Phyl Lobl for permision to add this song to the Union Songs collection.

Phyl writes:
'July 17 - 2010 Australian Federal Election announced. A Parody for the times. The tune is available in numerous Folksong books or recordings.
TUNE : ?Polly Perkins'/?Cushy Butterfield' / 'One of the Has-beens'

Find more of Phyl's work in this collection

Visit Phyl's website at http://phyllobl.net/

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